The blog for The Solitaire Rose Experience. Yes, the blog revolution is utterly and completely over. However, I haven't figured that out yet, so I'll be listing articles, ideas, links, and other internet debris. Now, you can join in! And be mocked mercilessly!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

That didn't take long

The first few resignations from the White Houe have started, the most interesting of which is John Ashcroft, who was a highly devisive figure. I am already reading other blogs who are saying that this is a silver lining to the election cloud. These people are not very bright, as the Attorney General is usually where a right wing President makes a sop to the religious base, thinking that if you put a snake handling guy who speaks in tongues in charge of law enforcement, it's a good thing.

I haven't figured that out yet. Is it because God will tell him where the criminals are? Will Jesus guide him as to which companies should be investigated for wrongdoing?

It seems that the Bush people have certain requirements of an Attorney General:

1) Must be able to speak directly to God.
2) Bad singer who writes his own songs.
3) Thinks it is incredibly important to know what you are doing with your filthy little genitals, while not very important to know if corporations are overcharging billions in government contracts.
4) Able to use Criso for annointing oil.
5) Fear of Calico Cats

Still, knowing the religious affiliations needed to work for a "Faith Based" White House, I have some suggestions:

1) John Edwards: Not the politician, but the guy who used to talk to dead people on TV. Maybe he can get victims of crime to name their killers from beyond the grave.
2) Oral Roberts: Not all the great when it comes to fighting crime, but he could save us all billions on health care by switching the government from HMOs to faith healing
3) Ned Flanders: Oh, you KNOW he had 1500 Bush/Cheney signs on his lawn.
4) Tommy Chong: If there is a man who knows how the Bush Administration wants to set priorities, it's Tommy Chong, who was busted using provisions of the Patriot Act on the anniversary of 9/11. Screw catching terrorists, we got Tommy Chong off the street! We can all sleep safe at night


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